Tomorrow is a new day.

Life has been full of changes these days.

I feel like i’ve lost a part of who i am over the last couple years, and i’m only starting to refigure out who i am – what I want, what I dont want, what i like, what i dont like.
Things haven’t been easy and i’ve made some not-so-very-good choices over the last 2 weeks or so – all because I don’t want to face myself and see who I have become. I know if and when I do, i’ll only be disappointed in myself. 

As of this moment, i feel like my words are simply inadequate, half of me wanting to post a simple facebook status update: “tomorrow is a new day”. All that is running through my head as i type out these five words into that small little box on the top of my newsfeed that asks “What’s on your mind?” is ‘well thank you miss obvious of course tomorrow is a new day’… There goes that little voice that is constantly nagging and telling me that what I have to say doesn’t matter….Here comes the verbal diarrhea.

But deeper down there is that still small voice, that tells me how i feel matters, what I say makes a difference in the lives around me. Regardless of what bad choices i have made in the last 20 minutes, 1 hour, a day, a week, a month, a year or even 2. The reality is tomorrow IS a NEW day. and I get to start fresh. clean slate.

Above all things, I want to find myself. I want to be confident in myself. and how? funny thing, i know the answer. I can be confident in myself through Christ. simple. right? right. Re-building a relationship with Him, to know in my deepest being and with all that I am, no matter what He Loves Me. To see myself through His eyes and know that I am all those things that he calls me. His Beloved, His prize possession, His Daughter, His Bride. And although I am imperfect and i falter and I make mistakes, I rest assured that He is taking me from glory to glory to ever increasing glory. 

tomorrow is a new day.

this is my hope.

to be radiant.

ra-di-ance [rey-dee-uhns] -noun
radiant brightness, light, heat, or glory that emanates or reflected by something

wakey wakey.

As in the days of Noah, so will the coming of the son of man be. Watch. he is coming. He is coming.

I am convinced with all my heart, that we are living in the generation of the Lord’s return. that we are living in a generation where we will see the greatest glory released upon the church, and we will see the greatest crisis released upon the earth that we have ever seen before.

He is coming.

I am telling you. we are moving into these days, and i am telling you that the church has no clue about it. And we must understand the hour in which we are living in; because if we continue on with “Business-as-usual” in these kinds of transitional shifts, we will be found wicked before the throne.
God is saying: ” I want a people who is ready, they waste their lives in the garden, their lamps burning, and they would be like men who wait for their master.”

As the days of Noah were, so also will the coming of the Son of Man be.

all creation groans.

As it was in the days of Noah, so it will be. There will be real human vessels apprehended by the Lord. Real human vessels brought into the fellowship of God’s heart. Brought into the emotions of God’s heart. That our God sees.
I am going to tell you Generation,
We have to star to wage war upon these false ideas that tell us that our God is a stoic, detached being that is far far away, that is just detached from the affairs of man

I am going to tell you that He is not like any other god.

He is the God who is in our midst
He is the God who sees
He is the God who hears
He is the God who feels
He’s the God who acts for the sake of Love
oh How all Creation Groans
He’s not at a distance and he is not indifferent
This has been the lie throughout history that our God is indifferent.
“He wont do good, he wont do evil, he won’t do anything.”
and yet God grips human vessels before time and say:
“No!, God sees, God hears, and God feels, and God WILL act”
He is near. He is the God with us.

Now he looks down the walls of eternity to the second coming of JEsus and he say,
“Oh Yes, they are going to be building an ark too. Watch therefore, for you Don’t know what hour your Lord is coming.”

be founds waiting for the day is coming

Jesus now begins to tell them. You’re living in the days of NOah and you have been given a way of escape, and it’s called the place of watching and prayer.
I give you one command, and this will give the one place of escape for you and your family.
Call the watching in this hour

I want to lay before you, the urgent cryo f the hour, is a life of watching and prayer.
Our eyes are closed
It’s that prayer of psalm 13
” enlighten my eyes, lest i sleep the sleep of death”

and when He’s talking about the issue of watching, he is talking about the place of revelation.  He is talking about those gates being filled with light. Those gates being filled with revelation, with illumination and understand. Sons of Issachar understanding the signs and the seasons; the times and the seasons. A people of understanding that Daniel talks about, a people of understanding that would instruct many. So we are going to have the greatest judgment come upon the earth, and I’m telling you, it will all be justified in that moment.
The Building of our ark
the building of our place of safety.

Revelation 6, it talks about the kings of the earth, the noble men, the rich, the princes, the generals, the slaves, and every free man. They are going to run away and scream to the mountain and say ‘HIDE US from the face of him who sits on the throne and from the wrath of the Lamb! For the great day of their wrath has come, and who can stand?’
Who has the fortification? who has the iron in their spirit, who has the resources and the treasures and the knowledge of God? Who can stand and be a shade tree for me in that hour, and bring many into safety in that hour. that is the great question: Who is able to stand?

This is the great hour, right now. That we must get a sobriety about us. Jesus speaking: But take heed to yourself, lest your hearts be weighed down by carousing, drunkenness and the cares of this life. and that day come on you unexpectedly. He says, for it sill come as a snare on all of those who dwell on the face of the earth. Watch therefore and pray always that you may be counted worthy to escape all of these things that will come to pass and stand before the Son of Man.

and in the same Jesus says there is going to be a weight, a sorrow that will come upon the earth, and only those who have iron in their spirit, eyes that are awakened. do not sleep lest you enter into temptation.
A people who have iron in their spirit, who can bear and stand in the midst of these hours.

And i believe right now, the church’s greatest enemy is that we are dealing with drunkenness in the church. We are in a delusion over reality, we are in a delusion over our true state, over what we truly possess. There is delusion over reality, we are thinking we are walking in one way: everything is glorious, everything is beautiful. but all of a sudden we don’t realize that from heaven’s perspective it is an entirely different reality. we need a wake up call. we need to get sobriety in our spirit. And i am telling you we need God for REAL, at the heart level. we need a wake up call for the hour we are living in. we have bought into the delusion of this age, the delusion of our anointing, even in the church. we need TRUE sobriety in our Spirit, a TRUE understanding.

1 Peter 4 says. the end of all things is at hand, therefore be sober and watchful in your prayers.

alive.

we are seated with Christ in heavenly place
this is our citizenship, this is our home
this is our reality, the realm of heaven

so i stand before my father and ask
in the mighty name of Jesus, we stand before You.
we thank You for the blood of Jesus
that has given us access into the holy place
that has given us access into the holiest of all
Father, we stand washed by the blood of Jesus
robed in robed of righteousness,
crowned with the crown of gold.

we stand before You, and we ask for
an unprecedented release of the Holy Spirit.
we ask that historic revival would begin tonight God.
we ask that you would break out with the Holy Spirit and fire
we ask You, even now, John the Baptist said that there is one coming that would baptize you with the Holy Spirit and Fire
we ask You for a baptism of the Holy Spirit and Fire
You said that we would see the heavens open
and see the angels of God ascending and descending upon the son of man
You said that in the last days you would pour out Your Spirit on all flesh
and Your sons and daughters would prophesy
father we ask you in one corporate voice
open up the heavens God
open up the heavens God
we cry out before your throne God
pour out the spirit we pray God

you said it, “You being evil know how to give good gifts to your children,
then how much more will your heavenly father give the Holy Spirit to those who askhim.”
father we ask you,
give us the Holy Spirit God
we can do nothing apart from you God
we can do nothing apart from you God

ask him for the spirit
ask him for the fire
ask him for the wind
ask him for the rain

i will pour out my spirit, like the water on the dry ground, Isaiah 44:4
wake your spirit up and call upon the Lord
wake your spirit up, and call upon the Lord
we call upon the name of the lord
we build an alter
and we call upon the name of the Lord

we want visitations
we want encounters
we want trances God
we want you to take us up in the spirit
we want the realm of angels to break in
we want the burning ones around your thrones to break in our midst

open your mouth, and ask things from the Father
ask and it SHALL be given
seek and you WILL find
know and the door WILL BE OPEN

i want to see a prayer movement
i want to see a spirit of prayer released
release that spirit of intercession upon us God.
a true raw hunger for God
release the anointing right now Holy Spirit,
you said that there is an anointing that breaks the yoke

we pray for the release of the anointing that breaks the yoke
that brings deliverance to captives
that heals
that reveals the hour of urgency that we are living in
we believe you God, for all that you have
we raise our expectation of what You want to do God.
more than a good meeting,
we want you to blow the roof off this region God
we want you to start a movement
and start a revolution in this region God
we want more than good meetings God, we want a revolution
We want a revolution God.
we want to see a shift in the campuses
we want to see a shift in the high schools and the colleges God
we want to see a shift God.

come alive.
prophesy to your spirit and say “come alive”
we are going to present ourselves alive in Christ Jesus

953

love came down and rescued me
love came down and set me free

i want to be with you
i long to be with you
my deepest desire to be with you

show us our need for you
show us our need for you
show us our need for you
more of you
more of you
hungry for your presence

awaken within me.
wake up wake up within me.
stir within the deepest depths of me.
let me see
my need for you.

we need your presence
we re not going to go anywhere
we need your presence
i am not kidding myself when i say
i need your presence.
i dont want to go anywhere without your presence
i need your presence.
i need your presence tonight.

i want to feel you
i want to know you
i need you more
i need more of you.

oh how i love your presence.
i love il ove your presence

restore my soul; restore my soul
you restore my soul; you restore my soul.
when love seems lost
and i can’t find my way
your hand guides me
oh and comforts

oh when i dont know where to go
oh how you guide me
oh how you walk beside me.
you lead me, you lead me.

make your presence known.
make your presence known
wont you make your presence known

just come as He want you.
whatever it looks like, i dont want to miss it.
i will come just as you want me.

wake up o sleeper,
awake awake my soul
wake up o sleeper,
awake awake my soul.
wake up o sleeper
all those who hunger
awake awake my soul.

rise and shine. rise and shine.

we love your word, we confess that we have fallen asleep
awaken us. arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light
we pray for a great awakening. we ask for the wind of your spirit to stir something up in our hearts, stir up the things that have become settled in our hearts.
we ask o God that you bring your light, we ask God that you rend the heavens and come down.
do not just want a stirring father, we want an awakening.
whatever the cost, whatever it looks like God, we want your presence
we want a shaking. shake all things that have been settled.

Luke 24:49
we come before Your throne, we come before Your throne in this place of prayer.
how you govern is from the place of prayer, You live to make intercession through us
so we come before your throne and we plead for you to send your spirit on us
would you clothe us with power from on high.
oh i ask You from this nation canada
that You would awaken the bride
that You would send fire upon the pulpits of canada
awaken a fire in our hearts
send us Your power, and Your awakening.

i ask for an awakening of power, an awakening of repentance, and of joy
i ask God that You would manifest your presence
God we need You, we need You, we need a turning of our hearts back to You
You have promised God that as we come together in unity, and we turn our hearts towards repentance, god that you would make manifest your Spirit and your Power.
we want a movement of Your Spirit, an activity of Your Spirit to move in our midst
so come Holy Spirit, we want Your ways, we want Your words, we want Your songs
we want You Lord.

begin even now. so we wait right now, in the place of prayer, that you power would be made manifest
release your power, release your spirit.

revive this land, with your presence once again.
Revive this land, with your presence once again.

come and fill us with more of Your Spirit. we want more of You. more of You.

we are here to humble ourselves and seek your face
as we sseek your face, we ask For YOur holy spirit to come and create in us a clean heart
that Holy Spirit that you would show us any blockages that block us from receiving all that you want to pour out into our lives
we thank you father, that God you have so much in store for us.
because it is your desire to bless Youur children. it is us father, that keeps it held back. so FAther i ask, that our hearts would be prepared, that we would come with humility, having positioned ourselves, in hungering and desiring .
help us to know how to stir ourselves up, and our desire for more of You O God.
we say more, we say more, we say ALL in jesus name.

Daniel 12:2
Father i ask, that Many would be turned to Righteousness, God would you awaken hearts, and cause those who are hungering and asleep to wake up.
that we would see, allow us to see through the eyes of the spirit. that we would see the beauty of your heart
that you would encounter the minds and the souls, and opening up their eyes to a new reality, that You are alive, eternal, and you are everything that we were created to experience forever.
awaken hearts alive and awake, encountering the Holy Spirit

open up our eyes, open up our eyes so we can see You
open up our eyes, open our eyes so we can see You

 

same veritas. more lux.

i have no idea what to call this entry. i have no words to express how i feel inside.

honestly the picture that i have is not a pretty one, its almost like being stuck in an amniotic sac. thats what it looks like….and i’m prying to get out, but the skin is like latex-y and so i’m just stretching it out and i can’t go anywhere.

I feel like there’s this person inside of me just dying to get out and yet its trapped amidst all these tensions and difficulties, struggles and in a place that’s just is inescapable.

 

Honestly i started writing this blog post not really because i wanted to, but because i felt like the Lord asked me to. you know? its like this outlet that allows me to express what i’m thinking, how i’m feeling, what i’m going through. its my sharing with the world i guess; in a funny sort of way.

 

i think i’m supposed to express the difficulties and weaknesses and the reality of human-ness that plagues me constantly. not to talk about it in a completely negative sulky sort of way, but to realize just how much i really do need Jesus, how much i need to walk with Him everyday, consciously meeting with him, communing with Him and just being with Him. and i guess this is something that i’ve been really lacking since the beginning of this summer.

Ever since i started summer school this part May, i have poured out my time and energy, essentially my life into my studies. to ensure that i get good marks, so that i can show to my parents and my family that i can do it, i can put my mind to something i can do well in it i can exceed in it. and obviously i know that there’s a good purpose for my studies. but honestly, HONESTLY, it is not where i want to be. and even as i type this i feel like a whiny 7 year old, telling her daddy that she doesn’t want to go to school anymore because its not fun anymore – – but this is how i feel. I am pressing down every desire of my heart to GO. to GO. and its so frustrating. i spend my entire day cooped up in a library sitting at a desk, crunching number and trying to figure out if things are statistically significant. honestly. i do not care if something is statistically significant or not. i do not care what the expected frequency of a table of data is supposed to look like. and its difficult. and i do hate school, i hate the entire institution, i hate that it grades you according to standards that do not even make sense biblically. i HATE It.

 

and its true, everytime i come to sit infront of God to bring these stupid insignificant complaints to him, he look at me with the most loving eyes and doesn’t say a word. he listens and listens and listens and listens. Honestly, he is the ultimate daddy, the ultimate listener, the ultimate comforter, he’s my number one fan. and i know, I KNOW he looks at me, and he just delights over me. he’s teaching me perseverance, teaching me to be diligent, to run the race and finish well. and i know He’s called me to where i am today, and as much as i am antsy and uncomfortable, and everything that i am giving up, its worth it.

 

you know i think the entire institution of education can be seen as a place of secular humanism, but you know what, I am currently in school, as a light and a bearer of Truth. and i get to be placed in a school that is surrounded by thousands upon thousands of individuals who are craving for understanding, who are searching for truth.

and honestly, its in these moments, where i can just sit and remmeber that God has called me back to my school for a purpose. honestly this is a pretty intense fire that he’s thrown me in. and its soo good. because he is soo good and he is sovereign and in control of everything you know?

 

i wrote about it the other day in my journal, about how i need to repent for harbouring the feelings and spirit of jealousy and comparison, instead of carrying a heart of championing and encouraging and praying for my brothers and sisters who i may or may not know. i think one of the biggest things that i have realized is the spirit of Comparison that has been soo deep seeded in my addiction to facebook, just constantly flipping from one persons page to another persons page and just feeding myself lies of “wow she’s so beautiful, so that person is out there in the mission field, wow! look how that person is following Jesus in DTS or leading this school or going to all these different places” but the reality is i should simply be excited and knowing that these individuals are those who carry You Heart O God. brothers and sisters who are after His heart.

 

anyway so this is what i ended up writing; the word “missionary” as i sit here and read blogs about people and their full time missions work, i cannot help but be overcome with jealousy, because it is my deepest hearts desire to drop everything and live amongst the poor and those in need the lost the broken. but i also know that beyond what i can see with everyone what everyone else is doing, I know God has a specific plan for me, for my life as well. and it may look different than someone elses, but it is for me. i am no less than anyone in God’s eyes and first and foremost i want to be obedient to Him, and if He is taking me through this time of schooling, to teach me self-discipline and studies then i say “All for Your Glory Lord”

And i know that through my studies it will open up so many more opportunities to spread the Gospel among the hungry and longing hearts, both now and in the future.

Yes a lot of times i need to be reminded of these things; and a lot of times i heart a voice in the back of my head saying “tsk tsk tsk, why aren’t you laying down everything and running after Jesus…in that way”

and that’s just it, it’s that tiny lie that attached itself onto the end…”in that way”. the reality is, I AM laying down everything and running after Jesus, in the way that he has specifically called me to.

I lay down my own will and way, and I know that God has placed all these things on my heart and is preparing me to minister in them. so i lay down my own timing and surrender and follow the leading of God, Jesus, Holy Spirit. and No one can take that from me. and regardless if every single person cannot see it, or doesn’t agree with it, or doesn’t understand it. because ultimately in the end it is Him that matters to me.

you know, it’s like a reminder to not listen to the lies of the enemy, to listen to truth, to hear only truth, to speak and love Truth. Oh, even as i write this i cannot help but be filled with Joy.

the Lie and stronghold of comparison has NO HOLD ON ME. I belong to Jesus, and He is my rock, He is my salvation. I am free from condemnation, i am free from the constant comparison of and toward others, and I declare that God has a perfect plan and purpose for my life, and i will spend each day seeking Him out, seeking out HIs will, and running hard after Him with Love and Obedience.

 

my love.    thank you.

 

 

Honestly, God is so funny, he never ceases to amaze me, in his working. we come to him so broken, so hurt, so confused, upset, angry, worried, ANYTHING. and he never fails to turn it around, speak truth into my heart. fill me with so much joy. Honestly, one HUGE thing i have learned even over the last couple days, is repenting is the most JOYFUL AMAZING thing EVER! i mean in the simple act of repentance, we basically rid ourselves of sin and are relentlessly pursuing greater intimacy with God?! I MEAN COME ON! its like correction and discipline with God, is the SAFEST PLACE TO BE! seriously, His love and patience and mercyy!! that he pours out over us, the reason behind why he bring us to a place of opening our eyes to see our sin, so that we could LOVE HIM MORE, i mean COME ON! so often i worried about God pointing out my areas of weakness and where i need to grow and that this correction will come from a place of anger and annoying as i so often have experienced. BUT what a LIE! the enemy has been feeding me. What i know about my own filings or thinking that God will discipline me like an early human is SO wrong.

I MEAN COME ON! the REALITY IS GOD IS REJOICING OVER ME!!! he is SO in LOVE WITH ME! i mean honestly, HE IS SOO IN LOVE WITH ME. I MEAN. RELENTLESSLY.

today, i was sitting in the library. and it just hit me, as i was doing question 14.2, it was just this revelation and clarity, and so clearly i knew that he was asking me one question: “Michelle, do you know what relentlessness looks like? imagine it. relentless. inflexible. constant. persistent, continusou, nonstop, never-ending, tirelessly, unfaltering, unwavering, unceasing” i mean. hello. i am ruined. how could i EVER for a moment, think that he doesn’t love me. that’s such a LIE! its SUCH A LIE!

he loves me more than i could even understand or imagine. i mean His love for me is unfathomable. do you realize what unfathomable means?

i mean for a moment, just stop and think for a moment, unfathomable. unfathomable. i cannot grasp it, i cannot understand it in full, i cannot. it is not possible, its an enigma, its tooo deeep, like a NEVER ending pit, and you’re just trying to figure out what the bottom looks like.. its like HELLO you can’t! its unending. i mean…….what?!

 

okay. seriously. i am not even going to lie. the Holy Spirit is totally wrecking me right now. haha and i love it! i mean honestly, what other God, can you bring your frustrations and difficulties only to leave joyful, and encouraged, and above all wholly loved?! i mean Jesus. you are So good. He is SOOO good. and to think for a moment, that he wouldn’t be holding my hand, everystep of the way through the desert, through the good the bad the difficult, the dry times, i mean. is just. absolute insanity!

 

the reality of our journey with God is that he takes us from Glory to Glory to ever increasing Glory. and this is truth. this means, regardless of anything and everything. our Journey with God can only get greater, and bigger, and better, and more wonderful. but its like the travel from one mountain to the next mountain over that’s higher and taller, its like. to get to that next mountain, you gotta get down the mountain and go back up the next slope. and sometimes we’re in the valley, but the reality is, he’s taking us to the NEXT level!

its like

song of solomon “look! here he comes, leaping across the mountains bounding over the hills. My love is like a gazelle or a young stag”

and then he calls us like in Revelation 4 and he says to us, “come up here” and he bring us to this new revelation about who He is, and he just stirs within us just a greater desire and its just. amazing.

over and over and over again in the bible, God continues to lead his people through the wilderness and the desert, to refine and form them into the fullness of who God has created them to be. and so i have confidence not in the things that i can see with my own eyes, but i set my confidence in that which is unseen. in the reality that God is bringing me to the promised Land, a place that is flowing with milk and honey, to a release of my true original identity and who he had created me to be. and that is my hope, and that is my joy. i mean honestly, i completely understand the rejoicing in suffering. seriously. its like a revelation flowing as i type. like why wouldn’t i rejoice every single tiny difficulty and suffering, because God is just allowing me to taste and join him in his death, so that i may join with Him, and can have joy in His resurrection.

 

i mean. Jesus the man, the firstborn from the dead, is seated at the right hand of God in Heaven. i mean. when Jesus prayed that his desire is that i would be with Him where He is. i mean He’s seated at the right hand, and it is His desire that i would know him in His glory, that i would be with Him where is.

 

man. He’s good. he’s just SO good. and i just want to give myself wholly to Him. love him completely. relentlessly after me? right back at ya.

oh river. oh fountain. release justice.

quick. gather the people
we found the river, we found the fountain
the pure stream. go to all the camps, bring together the wounded
its time that we wash ourselves for war.
put your armour back on
this is the place that courage is regained.
this is where we learn to drink the rain
we found the fountain, we found the fountain
and its Him.

bring out the instruments that have long been hidden
take them out of the closets.
release the sound of electric guitars it is time to redeem the day
for the days are evil
release the sound of flutes and drums
release the sounds of violins and bases
fill the earth with the sound of a generation
who has been washed in the blood of the lamb

God we ask you for the mantle of the fathers
to posses an entire generation
that the elijah spirit would begin to take over the gates of culture
reign down righteousness on the land
we ask you like in the days of Martin Luther
that it would be the very music that would move us to the justice march
release the sound of justice across the nation
go into every city
take down every stronghold
we ask that the poor would have a place inside of the church God
we ask you that this would be the time that the very heartbeat of heaven would be heard
release it into the stadium of the land
it is time
release the sons of thunder
out of your innermost being
will flow rivers of living water
creativity for the redemption of men

we will never let this fountain go
we will never give it up again
this fountain of life
this fountain that washes us for war
this fountain that keeps us in the joy of the Lord

runaround.

no. you. not you. i want. i dont want
you think it will be easier.
but its not. its like the second part of your half
the heel. the no heel. the walk around limpy bit.
hello. hello. hello can i tell you this. can i tell you that?
everything around is crumbling. but i just pick up my paintbrush
and start to slosh some pink and blue and red and white into the air
but it falls.
and hits the floor
and then there’s nothing. but i’m standing on a rock.
this rock is pretty. its shiny and there’s sparkles. and its nice and bright and beautiful
shining and. strong.
i just need this rock.
i’ll do with just this rock.
but can you join me on it?

what do the elders see that make them all fall down? what do the angels see that make them cry Holy?

coming back.

i seem to find myself repetitiously being reminded of simple truth. that God is ALWAYS speaking to me. that he always knows what to tell me, exactly when i need to hear it (obviously)

but today, it was so blatantly obvious, like he was screaming at me. but not screaming. but gently and yes VERY gently convicting me of my lack-lustre effort of leaning into the things of His hear, and putting aside real quiet time to be with Him…

Our women’s small group has been a little bit all over the place in the last month or so, due to this or that, exams and school, a couple people here and there unable to attend. and as i sit here being challenged, as to why we haven’t delved deeper into His heart together, regardless of school or exams… and i think this week is our reminder and our wake up call.

this week we’re reading chapter 7 and 8 in Billy Humphrey’s “Culture of the Kingdom”, a book that challenges me in so many ways i cannot help but fall on my face and cry out for repentance for my passivity and unbelief, my lack of love and devotion and passion and heart for my God.

even as i speak, i want to lie on my face cry out to the Holy Spirit, and ask for guidance and help, to to be obedient to the things of his Heart. to know Him, to hunger and thirst for Him with all that i have. to know that without him i am nothing, i can do nothing. without him my soul is in an unbelievably unrestful state. How long will i continue to seek after and run after other lovers, only to have a soul more broken and more unsatisfied, a heart that has a greater longing than when i started. and yet i continue to look for and grab at straws and rubbish instead of looking at the one my heart so desires for and so longs for…

in the midst of reading the second page of chapter 7, i could not help but put down my book. the unsettledness within my soul even as i write right now. The remembering of a time not so long ago. a time where i was separated unto him. a time when i was consecrated unto him, where i pulled back from media and the distractions of the world. where i leaned into the heart of the Lord, and where i could fell and sense the nearness of God. the time when earthly things began to look like rubbish and less fascinating. where Carnal pursuits were not longer desirous as the Lord would pour out revelation into my heart. My heart was drawn to His heart. as the depth of my heart cried out to the depths of his heart. as deep cries out to deep. walking out in complete and surrendered obedience to the Lord, knowing that it is only as we step out onto the path of obedience that we are able to really see and realize the reality of God’s hand and sovereignty in all things. He is in control.

so. am i sowing to my spirit or sowing to my flesh? i am doing one or the other all the time…

Even now, my heart burns to return to a place of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him.

…

i think the most amazing thing about this is that i’m really not going backwards as He takes us from Glory to glory. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord. and so yes. i look back, i look back at the season where the Lord challenged me to live a life consecrated unto him and i am encouraged, because my future there is more in store for me. he WILL lead me into a new place of his Glory, of knowing Him.

So i declare to the enemy, you have no hold on me. you cannot discourage me. because the Joy of the Lord IS my strength. oh yes, i’ve got the Joy =)

death, where is your sting?
grave, where is your victory?
He’s alive, He is risen!
He’s alive, now i’m alive and i will never die.

i’m ready.

More Lord, More.